Archive for two legged snakes

Disasters and Doors to a Better Life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on June 24, 2010 by dredslack

Disasters and Doors to a Better Life

This may sound a bit Pollyanna (unrealistically positive), particularly if you’re currently enduring one of life’s bone crushingly hard phases, but its true: If we learn from the disasters we survive we can use what we’ve experienced as doors to a better way of life. Perhaps a lot better and possibly in ways we couldn’t have gotten to without the rough bits.

Your disaster might be a random chance disaster, like a brick falling on you as you’re walking downtown or some unexpected (and undeserved) disease. It could be a disaster of your own making, like a cell phone jabbering auto accident or a last second decision to go ‘all in’. Often it’s a combination of both; sure he was charming, intelligent and oh so attractive but you didn’t let yourself see his two legged snake signals of showing up late too often, being secretive about his past and you forgave him faster than the blink of an eye when he told you he had an STD after you had sex.

Whatever the cause, when disaster strikes all the emotional stages show up; denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. We’ll do our ‘laps’ with them, in our own personal style, until the reactive emotion subsides & we start putting the pieces of our lives back together. If we’re going to turn this disaster into a doorway to a better, more informed, wiser way of living we’re going to have to look at what happened as honestly as possible, while not expecting ourselves to be perfect, wallowing in self pity or finding a goat to scape. We need to strive to understand what happened from a non-judgmental (‘it’s not good or bad, this is just what happened’) perspective and ask ourselves what this pain filled experience has taught us. Take your time, this is a big event; give yourself all the space you need to process it properly. Writing things out from all sorts of perspectives can be a good idea and can give you other angles to process your experience from. Be wary of the counsel of friends. They may be well intended and sometimes wise but my experience has been that much better results are achieved when this type of journey is held in a more personal light.

Disasters big and small befall all of us and even really, really good people aren’t excluded. If you learn from your disasters and open a door to a better life you’ve taken a bad situation and made something good come out of it. I can’t think of a better way to deal with it, can you?

Dr. Ed Slack // 2010

Risk Takers and Manipulators

Posted in relationships, trust, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on May 24, 2010 by dredslack

Risk Takers and Manipulators 

 Do you enjoy life? Do you try to live each day to its fullest? Would you rather take a few risks and get the most out of life or play it safe and not hurt? If you’re a ‘live life to the fullest’ sort of person I applaud you and hope your happiness is great and your troubles few, but be observant, manipulative people keep their eyes open for those who aren’t afraid to take a chance. 

Those of us who live ‘large’ will move pretty quickly in our professions, our relationships and our recreational activities. This tendency to go fast gives Two Legged Snakes (my term for manipulative people) a big advantage because that’s how they like to work; move quickly so their snaky deeds are done before they get discovered. Many a financial deal has become a disaster because too much was risked in a decision that was made too quickly for the snaky scheme to be revealed. 

 Besides finance, romance is the next life area where fast movers get hit hard. Even if your feelings say ‘full steam ahead, nothing bad could happen because this feeling is too good’, don’t move quickly with decisions that can have lasting consequences (like marriage or signing something). Take your time and savor the love you’re lucky to enjoy, if it’s the real, long lasting type it feels like, it’ll still be there next year. It’s a particularly bad sign if you’re getting a lot of encouragement from you lover to move fast or up the pace. Don’t do it, it’s your choice, the more pressure you get the more likely your dealing with a manipulator. 

 Lord knows I certainly don’t want to slow anyone down and I’m not one to encourage a fear based perspective, this is just a word to the wise that at times, fast movement can attract some unwanted and dangerous snaky attention. This is one of the reasons the music and entertainment industries have a lot of snaky people in them. Manipulators populate these industries because they are a prime target population to exploit; fast moving risk takers! Thankfully, if we are aware of this dynamic we can avoid snaky games and pay attention to the risks, and fun, at hand. At times we may slow down a bit, but that’s a lot better than a rag doll, lawn dart, Two Legged Snake disaster!

Watching the Watcher

Posted in relationships, trust, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on May 19, 2010 by dredslack

Watching the Watcher 

 Manipulative people, or Two Legged Snakes (as I like to call them), if they are of the intelligent variety are watching you to see what sort or ‘trust cues’ are important to you in determining who you let your walls down for. 

 For example, if you’re on a date with a potentially manipulative person (TLS) and he observes you smiling approvingly at a father interacting positively with his young child the TLS may make a point of being kind to children as a way to gain your trust. 

 If you’re a ‘look a person in the eyes when you talk to them, firm handshake, straight shooting type’ a bright TLS will pick up on this immediately and will ironically give you this no BS behavior in spades. 

 Taking your time is a great defense against this type of manipulator because the manipulative person’s inconsistency and insincerity will surface fairly quickly to an observant eye. Also, watch out for a change in behavior after your display of a trust cue. Keeping in mind the first example, if your date soon after observing your approving smile found some way to be helpful to a child you’ve most likely uncovered a TLS, simply by watching the watcher.

A Tea Party of Two Legged Snakes

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 18, 2010 by dredslack

The Two Legged Snakes who call themselves the Tea Party grossly (mis)associate themselves with the principles of the American Revolution …. when nothing could be further from the truth. Their Tea Party is not a justifiable rebellion against taxes collected to benefit a distant aristocracy and is no less a fantasy than the tea parties little girls have with their dolls and pretend friends. Only this one is uglier, louder and brimming with simplistic, snaky sophistry such as misassociation, baiting and reinventing history.

This (supposedly) ‘grass roots’ political movement’s recent use of the term ‘gangster government’ to characterize President Obama’s administration demonstrates their use of the Two Legged Snake (people who use sophistry and other manipulations) technique of misassociation. There is no demonstrable connection between President Obama and gangsters. But the association doesn’t sound good and, in fact, surely sounds mighty scary to the Fox news audience, who unquestioningly believe what they’ve been told by their favorite conservative pundit. Associating President Obama with gangster culture is ridiculously out of bounds and engenders another Two Legged Snake manipulative technique: baiting.

Baiting is making outlandish statements in an attempt to access the more primitive parts of our brains that are reactive and ‘animalistic’, the ‘fight or flight’ area. The higher brain stem locations that are more suited for analysis are largely bypassed because of the loud emotional reaction to the outrageous bombast. Because their opponents are too pissed off to think straight it’s then easier to draw them into a catch phrase battle where volume is more important than making sense. And that’s a battle they can win.

The Tea Party and others of their ilk will continue to use these techniques and more as long as they have an unwitting, dupable audience. The task for those of us who can see this blatantly manipulative sophistry is to help our fellow Americans see it as well.

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